Are We Preparing Our Children For Success or Setting Them up for Failure?
By: NayNay Butler
I am sure if you ask most parents if they would like to see their children happy and successful, most parents would definitely say yes to that. When most parents have their children, they have all of these dreams about how the child will become a huge success one day or become someone who makes a difference in this world. Those are legitimate aspirations for your child, however, what have we as parents done to make those dreams become a reality?
It seems like on any given day in any city across the country you hear about children committing some of the most heinous crimes. Whenever I hear these stories, I think to myself, is there somewhere in that child’s life that the parents played a role in how their child ended up? Children do not come out of the womb destined to be criminals. I believe many factors lead our children down the wrong path, but the role of the parents in their lives, and the decisions parents make when raising a child, is what can determine a child who will be successful, or a child who will be a complete failure in life. That being said, I have also seen parents who seem to have done all of the right things, and yet their children still end up on the wrong side of the law. There is no guarantees as to how your children will fare in life, but I do believe there are certain things you can do to instill good qualities in your child that will help them to make better decisions when they reach that fork in the road.
There is no easy way to parent. Parenting requires lots of love, discipline, understanding, and patience. As parents we sometimes revert back to our own childhoods as a guide to raising our own children. There will be some things you can apply from your parents’ strategy for raising children, but not all things your parents did were beneficial to you either. I believe that you first have to build a solid relationship with your child. A child has to believe that they can trust you. They have to know that know matter what happens in their lives, they can always depend on their parents to guide them and help them through anything life throws at them. Today, so many parents are so consumed with their careers, money, and socializing they forget that their primary responsibility is raising their children to be responsible and successful adults. Children are going to face so many dilemmas in their lives, and they need to know that they can turn to their parents when they can’t find the answers themselves. It is not always telling your children what to do, but to help them think their way through their problems.
Once you make the choice to become a parent, you now have a responsibility to that child to give them the tools they need to succeed. A stable home environment is essential for the success of your child. Many children today don’t have that stable home to go home to, and the end result can be disastrous. Establishing an environment in your home that enables a child to feel secure and loved is more important than buying them all of the material things that they want.
Children learn by example so it is important for you to set positive examples in their lives. They need to see the value of a good work ethic, having organization in your life, and being timely for work and appointments, reading books or newspapers. These are some of the things that children need to see you, as a parent doing. It is not enough to just tell them what they should be doing.
Another important element to parenting is setting limits in your child’s life. There should be a time for homework, a time for preparing for the day ahead, a time for dinner, a time for watching television or playing video games and a time for bed. You cannot just sit your child in front of the television and expect to have a well-adjusted child. By setting certain limits in their lives it adapts them to structure in their lives, and they will need this when they go to school or work to be successful.
Parents have a very hard job when it comes to raising children, but I believe many parents today are setting their children up for failure before they even have a chance at being successful. To be a good parent takes a lot of sacrifice, but in the end you will reap the rewards when your child grows up to be a responsible, loving, caring adult.
It seems like on any given day in any city across the country you hear about children committing some of the most heinous crimes. Whenever I hear these stories, I think to myself, is there somewhere in that child’s life that the parents played a role in how their child ended up? Children do not come out of the womb destined to be criminals. I believe many factors lead our children down the wrong path, but the role of the parents in their lives, and the decisions parents make when raising a child, is what can determine a child who will be successful, or a child who will be a complete failure in life. That being said, I have also seen parents who seem to have done all of the right things, and yet their children still end up on the wrong side of the law. There is no guarantees as to how your children will fare in life, but I do believe there are certain things you can do to instill good qualities in your child that will help them to make better decisions when they reach that fork in the road.
There is no easy way to parent. Parenting requires lots of love, discipline, understanding, and patience. As parents we sometimes revert back to our own childhoods as a guide to raising our own children. There will be some things you can apply from your parents’ strategy for raising children, but not all things your parents did were beneficial to you either. I believe that you first have to build a solid relationship with your child. A child has to believe that they can trust you. They have to know that know matter what happens in their lives, they can always depend on their parents to guide them and help them through anything life throws at them. Today, so many parents are so consumed with their careers, money, and socializing they forget that their primary responsibility is raising their children to be responsible and successful adults. Children are going to face so many dilemmas in their lives, and they need to know that they can turn to their parents when they can’t find the answers themselves. It is not always telling your children what to do, but to help them think their way through their problems.
Once you make the choice to become a parent, you now have a responsibility to that child to give them the tools they need to succeed. A stable home environment is essential for the success of your child. Many children today don’t have that stable home to go home to, and the end result can be disastrous. Establishing an environment in your home that enables a child to feel secure and loved is more important than buying them all of the material things that they want.
Children learn by example so it is important for you to set positive examples in their lives. They need to see the value of a good work ethic, having organization in your life, and being timely for work and appointments, reading books or newspapers. These are some of the things that children need to see you, as a parent doing. It is not enough to just tell them what they should be doing.
Another important element to parenting is setting limits in your child’s life. There should be a time for homework, a time for preparing for the day ahead, a time for dinner, a time for watching television or playing video games and a time for bed. You cannot just sit your child in front of the television and expect to have a well-adjusted child. By setting certain limits in their lives it adapts them to structure in their lives, and they will need this when they go to school or work to be successful.
Parents have a very hard job when it comes to raising children, but I believe many parents today are setting their children up for failure before they even have a chance at being successful. To be a good parent takes a lot of sacrifice, but in the end you will reap the rewards when your child grows up to be a responsible, loving, caring adult.
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